While trying to figure out how to write this post I have realized it is so much easier to write about the fun, light stuff. I don't even know where to start with my thoughts about the tragic event of yesterday's shootings. I don't know if my heart would have hurt this much for the families if I did not have a son of my own. I can't imagine the amount of pain each family is going through knowing they will not hold their babies anymore. How is it possible to heal from that kind of tragedy?
I hate that it takes a tragedy for me to realize how lucky I am. The past couple of days Henry has been very cranky, mostly during the day, which is a switch from the previous week. He is tired but won't go down for a nap and then gets overtired, which for him is the most painful thing (up to this point) and I have been pulling my hair out trying to get things done because he is just crying all the time. I would get him to sleep, put him in his crib and fifteen minutes later he would be awake again.
But yesterday, I didn't put him down. I didn't care if the groceries needed to be put away, or the clothes in the washing machine needed to be moved. It didn't matter that my phone was ringing or that I have Christmas presents to work on, I didn't put him down. We slept for an hour together and then he woke up, still unhappy. It took me a while, but I got him back to sleep and I still didn't put him down. I watched TV while he slept in my arms. I couldn't put him down. I didn't know if I would ever put him down again. I just wanted to hold him and protect him forever.
I don't realize how quickly time is going. I have honestly loved every stage he has gone through and I look forward to all of the other stages. I'm sure I won't realize how fast he is growing until I look back one day and he is in Preschool and then Kindergarten. I hope for the time being I take time to really comfort him when he is upset and know that nothing is more important than taking the time to hold him close and not put him down.
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